So my cowife has not spoken to me in days. This is not a good sign not a good sign at all…. I don’t think I did anything to upset her directly inshaAllah, but she is probably upset at this whole polygyny situation. I get it, she hates having to share her husband and her time with him and their family. 😦 inshaAllah she will come around. This is such an awkward situation and it actually makes me think if we should even be friends or talk at all. I mean at first I thought having a relationship with her, and a nice and good one at that, would be the best thing for everyone but now I’m not sure. I mean what happens now if she does decide to talk to me again? Do we just pick up right where we left off? Do we talk about what happened and why she stopped talking to me? What’s going on here! I hate being left in the dark but I don’t want to reach out to her either. I don’t want to push her. Eid is coming up on Friday and maybe that will help bring her around. I guess I just have to wait and see…
InshaAllah, tomorrow will be the 9th of Dhul-Hijjah, the day of Arafah. Below is a great explanation of the origin of this day and above is a video with great details on the many blessings that can be found on this day. May Allah accept all of our fasts tomorrow and reward us accordingly. Ameen!
Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated, ‘Prophet Ibrahim brought Isma’eel’s mother (his wife, Hajar) and Isma’eel, while she was still nursing him, and then camped with them next to (the area where) the House (the Kaa’bah) was to be built, next to a large tree just above (the area where now exists the well of) Zamzam and which is also above the Masjid (the Holy Masjid in Makkah). At that time, Makkah had neither inhabitants nor a known source of water. He left them there and left with them a bag full of dates and a Siqaa’ (a jug usually made of leather) full of water. When Ibrahim started to depart, Hajar followed him, saying, ‘O Ibrahim! Where are you going and leaving us in this valley that does not have any inhabitants or anything else?’ She repeated this several times, but he was not paying any attention to her. She then said to him, ‘Did Allah command you to do this?’ Ibrahim replied, ‘Yes.’ She said, ‘Then certainly, He will not abandon us.’ She went back, while Ibrahim kept on walking, until he was next to a hill where he could no longer be seen. He then faced the direction of the House and recited the following supplication,
|“O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivated valley by Your Sacred House; in order, O our Lord, that they may perform prayer, so fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks.” [14:37].|
Afterwards, Isma’eel’s mother nursed nurse him and drank from the water (that Ibrahim left with them). When they ran out of water, she and her son became thirsty. She looked at Isma’eel and saw that he was turning around on the ground (out of thirst). She hated to see him like this, so she left and went up on Mount Safa, the nearest mountain to her, then looked down to the valley, trying to locate any person. She then descended down Mount Safa until she reached the valley, and then raised her sleeve (trying to protect her eyes from the sun). She walked just like an exhausted person would walk until she reached the end of the valley. She then went up on Mount Marwah and stood trying to locate anyone, but she did not see any person. She repeated this sequence seven times. Ibn Abbas then said, “The Prophet Salla Allahu Alayhi Wasallam said, ‘This is why people walk between them (between Mounts Safa and Marwah, while performing the rituals of Hajj).’ When Hajar went up on Mount Marwah (for the fourth time, completing seven trips back and forth between Mounts Safa and Marwah), she heard a voice, and said to herself, ‘Shush,’ and tried hard to listen. She heard something again, and then said (aloud to whom she thought she heard), ‘I heard you! Do you have relief so that you will provide us with assistance?’ She then saw an angel digging up the ground with his wing where Zamzam exists today, and water then started to flow. She then started to contain the water with her hand (trying to make a pool of mud to collect the water in it), and she was also cupping her hands to fell her Siqaa’ (water jug), yet the water was flowing as fast as she was filling.”
Ibn Abbas then said,
|‘The Prophet Salla Allahu Alayhi Wasallam said, ‘May Allah bestow His Mercy upon Isma’eel’s mother! If she had left Zamzam – or if she had not cupped her hand – Zamzam would have been a flowing spring.’ Ibn Abbas then said, ‘So she drank and nursed her son. The angel then said to her, ‘Do not fear abandonment, for a House for Allah (the Kaa’bah) will be built in this area by this boy and his father, and most certainly, Allah does not abandon His people.’ [Al-Bukhari].|
Prophet Ibrahim’s sincerity with Allah was evident in his leaving his wife and son in an uninhabited area, just as Allah commanded him. Also, his wife’s sincerity with Allah was evident by her attesting with certainty that Allah will not abandon her and her son, since it was Allah Who commanded Ibrahim to leave them in Makkah.
Did Allah abandon them? No, indeed. Prophet Ibrahim and his wife had a type of sincerity that brings strong emotions to all those believers who hear their story. Because of sincerity, Allah made Zamzam flow with water, not only for Isma’eel and his mother, but also for the billions of Muslims throughout the ages, all drinking from it while visiting the House of Allah.
Taken from ”The Muslim Creed” February 2005 Vol. 13 No. 2 Publisher: The Daar of Islamic Heritage
Confession: SubhanAllah, I can’t control my emotions. Go figure.
It drives me crazy that there are so many times when I get upset and I KNOW I’m upset and I KNOW I need to just walk away…walk away….yet I don’t. I stay there, open my mouth, aim, and release subhanAllah (Allah is void of all evil). Only to regret it later 😦 Man I hate that!!!Especially when it’s with my husband and even more so because he always ends up being right. I try not to admit that to him too much 😉 I’m right sometimes too, but its all about the actions I choose to express myself. Throwing a temper tantrum so does not work in my favor and I need to retire it ASAP inshaAllah. It’s the heat of anger that engulfs my heart and my lack of being able to extinguish the fire 😦
Narrated by An-Nu’man bin Bashir:
I heard Allah’s Apostle saying…Beware! There is a piece of flesh in the body if it becomes good (reformed) the whole body becomes good but if it gets spoilt the whole body gets spoilt and that is the heart.
Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 2, Number 49
When my heart is in a good state and at peace so are my thoughts and actions. When my heart beings to feel the onset of anger or being upset it opens the door for my emotions, letting them come in and take over my thoughts and actions.
Obviously, I know all of this but yet I still act the way I do subhanAllah. I started reading Diseases of the Hearts & Their Cures by Shaykhul-Islam ibn Taymiyyah, rahimullah (May Allah have mercy upon him) and mashaAllah (Allah has willed it) I feel as if the Shaykh is speaking directly to me! Click on the image below to access the PDF file for this book curtisey of kalamullah.com.
May Allah make us amongst those who have correct hearts, who constantly turn towards Him in repentance, who seek guidance and knowledge to know the truth and follow it. Ameen!
“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]” Sahih International translation for The Noble Qur’an, Surat An-Nisa 4:3
The above ayat (verses) refers to the permissibility in Islam of a man marrying more than one wife (polygyny) IF and ONLY IF that man can be just among them. Funny how those opposed to polygyny like to cut off that part from the ayat…. When I first started learning about Islam I had so many questions on polygyny. Is that really allowed? Yes. Do people really go through all that? Yes. Do people go through that in the west? Yes. I started looking into it and quickly realized that while it is completely halal (permissible) the western ummah (nation, community) treat it as if it is totally haram (forbidden).
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is the best of planners. His plan for me is to test me in this dunya (this worldly life) with polygyny and as a grateful servant to Allah, I humbly accept. If you don’t agree with polygyny,that is your personal opinion and you are welcome to it. InshaAllah (God willing), this is not a space for disrespect to anyone about anything.
InshaAllah this is a place to learn and ponder which leads me to my first confession: I hate the fact that there are many muslimahs that do not accept polygyny and that they will literally outcast you should they find out you are a cowife. Why is is it that they can accept and practice everything else from the Qur’an and Sunnah except polygyny?
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (d. 728H):
“Whenever a person makes halal what is haram by consensus or makes haram what is halal by consensus or replaces the Sharee’ah that is agreed upon by consensus, then he is a Kaffir by the agreement of the scholars of Fiqh.” – “Al-Fataawa”, Vol. 3/267.
I have no right and in no way am I calling anyone a kaffir. That said, polygyny is HALAL. What’s up with my sisters in faith steadfast on treating it like it is HARAM?
First things first. Bismillah. This blog was created solely as a space for me to share and express my experiences so that I as well as others may increase in knowledge and support each other in daily activities as in accordance to the Qur’an and Sunnah inshaAllah. Please note that anything good published here is from Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala, and anything that is wrong and incorrect is directly from my own shortcomings. May Allah accept all our efforts and make us steadfast in our deen. Ameen!